Even though of course, so many of us were brought up to have this cultural understanding of "Well, this is what a friendship looks like, versus "This is what a romantic relationship looks like," versus "This is what a casual sexual relationship looks like." I know Dedeker, you said that you send it off to clients. I saved it off the internet long ago. For everyone who listened to the episode, that is the Smrgsbord that we talked about, in the episode and so you can check that out and if you want a downloadable PDF version of it, you can contact Maxx for that. Now you do that for the next 30 days. I think it is really important for people to be very clear so that no one feels like power imbalances and people are being taken advantage of or they're very aware of the hierarchy that's there. It says color coding and highlighting are fun too. Oh yes, that could affect how we can relate to each other and how those power dynamics and imbalances might play out. Our question on Instagram this week is have you heard of the RA Smrgsbord and do you use it in your relationships? I am still pretty new to poly, and I am trying to figure everything out. (Phoenyx definition) The video below discusses why anarchists dont use labels and what are the alternatives to get away with the hierarchies in the relationship. 31 16 16 comments Add a Comment Relationship anarchy pretty much works by couples deciding to set their own boundaries. As long as the relationship doesn't harm yourself & others and feels right to you & those involved, that's all that matters. Relationship Anarchy (RA) is a social movement that was started by Andie Nordgren in 2006. It means enjoying the relationship with as many people without the need of a label or hierarchy. My type of QPR probably looks a lot like a ma rried couple who are comfortable being around each other. I think there's a reason why I bring up the felt board thing is because something that I do for clients--, Emily: Is it just or is it like in felt like, Dedeker: When you were growing up in school-, Dedeker: Yes, they stick to the felt, and then you'd have act out like little stories and so-. Then I found that it came up just with clients a lot especially clients who are forging new relationships and wanting to be much more intentional about their relationships that I found a really good resource to give to people to just think about questions to ask or conversation topics to bring up or even questions to ask themselves when thinking about what different non-traditional relationships they might want. If you want to learn more about relationship anarchy and the RA Manifesto's instruction to "customize your commitments," I'm teaching Relationship Anarchy Applied on February 22, 2022 at 8pm ET. is sin; in RA, the rules of being open to other partners are already set and engaging with other partners is not considered so. You can make it work for you and whatever relationship you're are in or whatever configuration you want this to be useful for. Lyrics, Song Meanings, Videos, Full Albums & Bios: Nothing, When the Suicide Lies Dead, Alea Iacta Est, Memories of a Murderer, Under Your Dead Hand, Marching Into Hell, We Are the Plague, Miss 21% Perfect, The Common Lie, Blanket of Black, Oath for an To this end, mechanisms are re quired It's very very short read. You're not just taking it for granted. Another difference between a solo poly vs relationship anarchy is structure. Dedeker: No, no, no. Therefore, there is a level of anchoring because of the involvement of another partner when you say I do.. Essentially it's like a descriptive tool, not necessarily a prescriptive tool. What does relationship anarchy mean, exactly? What was it? As Dedeker said before, there are a variety of different boards out there that you can use. Literally, the chart is a bunch of different little floating bubbles. I just keep that in mind that it's not like you have to go through and somehow analyze each one. Relationship Anarchy 101, and Episode 339: The Smorgasbord of Relationships. Its a relationship with a flexible commitment option.it depends on no demand, no expectations rule. The point is that every relationship is unique and the people in it are unique. Then again, at the end of the day, you get to use as much of it or as little of it as you want. Join us in voting with our voices, our wallets, and our actions. Our theme song is Forms I know I Did by Josh & Anand from the Fractal Cave EP. That's lovely that people are really changing it and making it more cohesive for the broader masses, but you can customize it yourself as well. Before we get into all of that, we're going to discuss some ways that you can help keep the show going by going to our sponsors and checking them out, so that we can continue bringing you this show for free. Closer to the center, there are things that are maybe more personal, for instance. Reply to this topic; Start new topic; Recommended Posts. Dedeker: We're not going to talk about that, anyway. It says that people should continuously open up their feelings just like any other. "relationship anarchy is a way of approaching relationships that rejects any rules and expectations other than the ones the involved people agree on. We're discussing its history and creation, its significance, and how you can use it in your relationships even if you don't identify as a relationship anarchist. The Pillars of the Earth tells the story of Philip, pr. The Smorgasbord has as its concept the idea that every relationship you have with another person is like a plate that the two of you are filling from this buffet of many options. Do we feel the same about this thing? (:1-3) Judged by the Negation of Necessities - Abandonment. Relationships are complex, whether that's your best friend or your mail carrier or your romantic partner. Emily: Speaking of change, there's another quote from the Center for Growth.com that talks about that change that does happen in relationships and how to apply it to this form, this not test, it's a fun thing. Now, what monogamous means in a relationship? That is something we are comfortable with in certain arenas, like the conversation about cohabiting or starting a family together or becoming coworkers that those are arenas where we do recognize like, "Okay, there has to be some intentionality and discussion behind this," and it's okay to extend that into other aspects of our relationships and it doesn't make it any less organic. If you are more suited to sexually, socially, and emotionally monogamous relationships, you can still adhere to a . Then as we branch out, even further to the outer ring of this, we're looking at things like financial entanglements. It says that society dictates the definition of love. Essentially just a way to help determine what it is that you and your partner want out of a relationship or you and a partner, you and another person that maybe you're not in a romantic or sexual relationship with. It doesn't cut it out clearly how we're actually connecting to each other. This is what is not going look like now. 339 - The Smorgasbord of Relationships Multiamory Black Lives Matter. Emily: I really appreciate the intentional way that Maxx created all of the different words in the categories, the subcategories within each category. There's so many different ways to use it and it's just yet another fun tool that I think can enhance one's relationship so, oh yes. No two human beings are exactly alike. I think I stumbled upon it. I'd be interested to do it with you two as well. Really this is truly a customizable tool. It's like, what are they actually referring to? But it is a pretty good indicator of the flexibility of relationship anarchist philosophy to customized relationships, and a useful tool. Definitely, no. They are, They dont differentiate between their romantic, sexual, or, Here is an English translated version of the, Instead of depending on the one sanctioned by the society, the ones falling under this practice set their own, rules about how the relationship should work. There's other online whiteboard-type things out there too, that you could check out. Dedeker: Obviously, we're a particular breed. Its about respecting each others choices regardless of how selfish or stupid it is. Here I'm going to read a quote from an article in mind-body green on what the heck relationship anarchy is. That could be an interesting thing to do a deep dive on sometime in a future episode about that because when people want an organic relationship, that's always the question, right? There is a structure that differs from societal relationship norms that advocates that interactions between individuals should not be categorized, but defined on a case-to-case basis, and each interpersonal dynamic should not be based on rules and commitment, but by mutually agreed upon boundaries. Emily: I love that. It can sometimes be anxiety-inducing to talk about changing the nature of a relationship, but the Smrgsbord gives you an easy shorthand to start that conversation. https://ifas.ufl.edu/media/smartcouplesifasufledu/docs/pdfs/9-Important-Communication-Skills-for-Every-Relationship.pdf, https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/andie-nordgren-the-short-instructional-manifesto-for-relationship-anarchy, Relationship anarchy versus polyamory versus monogamy, Common misconceptions about relationship anarchy, Spice up Your Day With Cute Relationship Memes for Your Partner, The Importance Of Maintaining Healthy Family Relationships, 35 Relationship Goals for Couples & Tips to Achieve Them, 25 Common Marriage Problems Faced by Couples & Their Solutions, 50+ Best Funny Marriage Advice: Finding Humor in Commitment, What Lies Do to a Marriage? As you just said so many of us grow up thinking that we know exactly what a sexual relationship or romantic relationship looks like, versus platonic relationship. It is a practice of consciously aligning intentions with others rather than unconsciously projecting assumptions and abiding by societal expectations. It just means that there's communication around these organic changes happening. How do we feel about legal entanglements? The full transcript is available on this episode's page on multiamory.com. Dedeker: The reason why it's exciting to me is something that I have done with clients in the past specifically about non-monogamous aspects of their relationship is sometimes I will have clients essentially generate almost their own Smrgsbord of like all the possible aspects of a non-monogamous relationship like good, bad, ugly, everything in between. T o be relationship fluid, is to be inclusive and acknowledge the personal and potential validity of all relationship styles, both for yourself and others. Lets break it down and see what it actually means and why some couples happen to advocate it. I highly recommend it to everybody. 2. As Emily mentioned earlier, there have been several versions of this. Monogamy is still very much a part of society. Part of the issue in managing relationship expectations are the labels themselves. Jase: On this episode of the Multiamory podcast, we're talking about the relationship anarchy Smrgsbord. The smorgasbord doesnt only have to be used for romantic relationships; it can be customized and used for any relationship you would like to use it for. It's essentially instead of it being like, "Do you want a relationship or not?" It logically follows that without hierarchy, everyone is equal. The categories are loose generalizations to help conversation and are arranged with those relating to the larger social/political systems toward the outside and the more personal toward the center. We talked about this in a previous episode, but this takes the guesswork out of that. Dedeker: That's really funny because when I saw it in Mind and Body I was like, "I think I'm quoted on an article in Mind and Body." Although the society believes that. This might be something that's good to take a look at and fill out on your own, just to start getting a clearer picture in your own mind of where you stand on certain categories. Then I saw the quote and I was like "Wow, they put that really well." So, dont be afraid to have your own definition and set your own boundaries and adventures. We're going to do that at some point in the future and this week in lieu of a bonus episode, just please check out and support Maxx's work. Dedeker: Yes. It just--. It didn't seem that difficult to me. Below, we'll include the relationship anarchy chart: Emotional Intimacy Sharing Vulnerability Emotional Support Confidante Words of Affection Physical Intimacy Cuddling Kissing Hand-Holding Dancing Massaging Sexual Intimacy Sexual Acts Melville is a poet and it shows. It's a word that means an assortment of things or like a buffet with lots of different food to choose from. They never have been. I don't like this thing we're doing but I can't do anything about it because a romantic relationship, so that just comes with it. Yes, that would be really cute. There's some different options that you could go about with that. You might say, "No, we're not going to share a sleeping space but we are going to share a home," or you could even have that where you're not sharing meals or maybe you do want to share a sleeping space but not share a home. Dedeker: Oh yes. The categories are loose gernalizations to help conversation, and are arranged with those relating to the larger social/political systems toward the outside, and the more personal toward the center. On the one hand, maybe it is more of a sponsor or mentor-type relationship because in relationship anarchy, all relationships are relationships. This subreddit discusses news, views, and. I think that that could be a really valuable thing with a Smrgsbord as well. A quote from the Center for Growth.com said, "The relationship Smrgsbord is meant for all types of relationships, platonic, familial, romantic, sexual, et cetera, and is indeed meant to challenge and make clear exactly what we mean when we are using those descriptors." If I answer for the two of us it looks like this: Romantic: check. Jase: Oh my gosh. Jase: Yes. Looking at this practice from a quote points out that it is custom-tailored to fit the needs of every relationship exclusively. Jase: Interesting. Do you know about the Relationship Anarchy Smorgasbord? I think I first encountered it on Twitter probably a few years back that someone had retweeted the image and I was like, "Oh, that seems really useful. It even has blanks on it for you to write in extra stuff yourself. Dedeker: Yes. It is focused on consent, openness, and honesty. 3 Reply BasketCaseSensitive 6 yr. ago This is why, anarchists follow relationship anarchy smorgasbord developed by a few anarchists and posted first on Reddit polyamory forum. Dedeker: That's just kidding. Dedeker: I do know. Emily: Another critique is something along the lines of, "It's missing blank," or "I don't like that this thing is under a specific category. It's like bread and butter is kind of what it means. It's not like you have to sit down and finish the test in 30 minutes kind of a situation. Jase: Can you imagine though, if you were given homework in school and the teacher was like, here's the homework feel free to do as much or as little of it as you think is helpful for you and if you want to change it, yes. I actually think would be a really cool tool to apply in some of those situations. 5 Benefits, What To Do When You Feel No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, According to Zodiac Signs: the 3 Best Women to Marry, How To Connect With A Man On An Emotional Level, The Role of Romance in a Relationship and its Importance, How Important Is Intimacy in a Relationship, Feeling No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, How to Get Back Together After Separation, 6 Ways to Tell if Someone is Lying About Cheating, 5 Signs That You Are Living in a Toxic Marriage, 7 Important Tips to Build Trust in a Relationship, 10 Effective Communication Skills for Healthy Marriages, 20 Signs of a Married Man in Love With Another Woman. Monogamy is still very much a part of society. Whether you are entering a new relationship or reconstructing an existing one in the line of such a practice, it is important to understand the depths of the structure. Considering the rules of this practice dont map the norm, it is important to act like a superhero at times. In 2006, a relationship anarchy manifesto was published by Andie Nordgren, a non-binary Swedish gaming producer. Relationship anarchy Smrgsbord: A tool for discussion. not Shomore, Smore. I think it makes sense to include those things here as well. That's great. Our social media wizard is Will McMillan. It becomes really clear, I think for me, looking at this chart, becomes really clear about how our traditional labels of friend, romantic partner, acquaintance, and stranger, doesn't quite cut it. In polyamory, people start engaging with different partners. We're okay with sleeping together, we're okay with nudity, and we want to incorporate kink, but maybe we're not okay with actually a romantic experience or a domestic experience together." This was the first version essentially of the relationship anarchy Smrgsbord. Not all who use this are relationship anarchists, and those who are may need to discuss how their relational style differs from cultural norms. We define our relationship, not society or what people say a relationship is supposed to look like. or reconstructing an existing one in the line of such a practice, it is important to understand the depths of the structure. I think having examples of how others do it I maybe understand myself better. Something as simple as, "Hey, I'd like to take another look at what's included on our relationship platter. Just to shout out to a researcher M because they really schooled me on this whole thing. We're discussing relationship anarchy: can it be practiced in monogamy or is it a contradiction of terms? I do think that we can sometimes just fail to really accurately convey what it is that we want or if we expect things to change over time, in a particular direction, that we just sometimes fail at that, not necessarily because we're bad people and trying to deceive other people. Discuss the definition of any terms that are not clear. Member; 895 . That's interesting. HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired): Remember to take care of yourself. I'd like to just talk about some of the things that we see here, because many of them may not be a thing that's in your specific relationship, so let's dive in. According to anarchists, the idea of love being limited to a couple is questionable. No duties, demands and disappointments. No, I love it. There are no limitations. Now I would love to see how this would look like in your relationships? 5 Ways Lying Destroys Marriages, 15 Ways to Deal With an Unsupportive Partner During Pregnancy, 15 Signs of a Condescending Person and How to Deal With Them, What Happens When You Meet Your Soulmate: 15 Amazing Facts, 15 Ways to Know if Theres Enough Physical Intimacy in Your Relationship. However, considering RA is not about labels, theres a smooth relationship transition, whether they are platonic or otherwise. How one connects to the partner or ways to run a relationship should be on them. Changelog. Leah practices solo polyamory and shares some of what she has learned, her challenges, and her love of learning about relationships! We did an episode a long time ago, episode 150. We're going to talk about some of what we see on it and how you can apply it into existing and new relationships. Click here for ways you can support positive change through petitions, demonstrations, and donation. Anarchists decide that love should not be defined by entitlements and hierarchies. It's too much. Relationship Anarchy is a relating philosophy and practice based in self-awareness and personal responsibility that honors autonomy, authenticity, and adaptability. It requires you to be spontaneous and free. ". It's really--. You align with the other person and can collaboratively choose items from different platters. This chart invites us to examine these very assumptions by disambiguating the different things we could do in a relationship. If that's something that you want from me, then let's not have some of these other things that we're talking about, or if we do want to have this romantic and sexual, these things from those platters, then I'm not okay with us having this one too." There's lots of other things like it too, other alternatives, so if there's something about this one that doesn't quite work for you. I really like there's this note in the center, in this most updated version of the chart, encouraging people using the chart that you have to agree together on what it is that you want. They understand that their feelings and desires come first above all others, and then from there, theres a hierarchy over which matters next. . That you're interacting with it, going through it together that you're, and it reminds me of some other quizzes and things for like identifying your sexual desires with a partner or something like that, where the point of it is about each of you picking what are the things where I'm like definitely a yes or definitely a no, seeing how those line up. folks in the RA community. Jase: Yes, I've seen that one too online, but it's bord. Thanks so much, Maxx, for all that information and we look forward to having you on the show at some point. Our researcher for this episode actually had a discussion with Maxx Hill and they are the creator of versions two through five, the majority of the versions that are even out there. According to Andie Nordgren, who coined the term, Relationship anarchy is not about never committing to anything its about designing your own commitments with the people around you., Relationship anarchy pretty much works by couples deciding to set their own boundaries. This is like a fun tact way to do it. Dedeker: Yes, but then on the other hand, it's also great. That's it, it's got to be felled. Emily: Here's the quote. Most importantly, it is based on three pillars: Effective communication Empathy Willingness to express your emotions I'm just trying to speak to like the kinesthetic, the more physical visual learners out there who maybe have a harder time codifying things just by like writing, and instead would benefit more from being able to physically move things around in space. I think a common critique that comes up about honestly any intentional relationship tool or conversation is, "Oh, but this doesn't lend itself to organic relationships." I'm going to save that. I certainly hadn't, but I bet a lot of you out there have. Relationship Coach. Friendship: yes. Followers 0. I'd suggest this as a tool, much like a Yes/No/Maybe list, for folks who want a place to start with these conversations. Episode One: Intro to Relationship Anarchy. Once you both are done, you both can compare your mutual requirements, and begin working on the ones that dont match. That's something I really enjoy for collaborating on ideas with people. Dedeker: A little bit later we are going to dive into more specifically what's actually on here, like what are . Jase: Yes, for sure. RA is exactly what it says, it is. I don't want to do homework in my relationship in which case I'm like, "Why are you listening to this podcast?" I go back to it quite a lot. Relationships are complex, and what might seem acceptable for someone in a friendship relationship might not be for someone else. They really keep getting reworked and updated due to the feedback from the relationship anarchy, the polyamory, and solo polyamory Facebook groups. The Relationship Anarchy smorgasbord is like a buffet of relational styles, commitments, and expectations [7]. Emily: You're like, "I don't want to do it.". Relationship anarchy is the 'choose your own adventure' version of relationships. Relationship anarchy means that the boundaries of each relationship should be determined by the two people involved, not based on how the relationship is designated (like friend versus. Jase: Yes, I think there's a couple of parts of that as well. They also tend to limit expectations placed on other people and set their own adventures. If you are not also a huge relationship geek who is just like ostracized that relationship school, because you're too obsessed with your good grades and getting extra credit, then you're not part of the Multiamory family. I was like, "Oh I'm going to get her on this.". It means engaging with various partners and they have a hierarchy system like primary and secondary. Dedeker: We're going to do the brief backstory of relationship anarchy. This week's episode is all about the Relationship Anarchy Smorgasbord! They discussed the origins of the Smrgsbord and they said, "The relationship anarchy Smrgsbord was originally created by Lyrica Lawrence and Heather Orr of Vancouver polyamory in December 2016. Emily: Did you try to change the assignment? More recently I did an interview with Courtney Nicole Williams that's episode 333 where they talked a lot about relationship anarchy and chosen family specifically. It might just be an easy, "Okay, Yes. If you want to tell us how you changed it, that's fine but you just don't have to, imagine how different that will experience with you. Think of it like a buffet smorgasbord and you and your partner have one plate to fill, you have to communicate and choose what goes on the plate together. Physical touch: yes. What level of touch is okay, how much emotional support can we expect from each other, stuff like that? My impression was I thought that homework was for if you didn't understand the concept in class. If you see something that feels off to you or like there's numerous conversations out there happening about possible changes, just go and maybe go try to find these groups that they're a part of the relationship anarchy Facebook group. Jase: I'm also a big fan of, especially if you're doing this remotely or even if you just want to keep a record of it that doesn't have to take up a whole wall of your house as it fell forward, or as sticky notes is online things like MRO is one of them MRO. Got to make a little felt relationship anarchy Smrgsbord --. There is a structure that differs from societal relationship norms that advocates that interactions between individuals should not be categorized, but defined on a case-to . Relationship Anarchy Worksheet Smorgasbord Participants: Instructions Use the Smorgasbord as a starting point to negotiate what will be included in your relationship: 1. This is about the original quote of being flexible with the commitments rather than walking on the path society lay for them.. Relationship Anarchy, on the other hand, rejects hierarchy and believes that everything is unique. It did not explain if some unique relationships are more important than others or how the dynamics of non-labeling fits into reality. I could actually see it being a great idea to make a work-safe version of it or a roommate version of it that didn't have the sex and kink stuff on it, but still did cover some of the things about like, what are labels in terms we use? Emily: Oh gosh, okay, that's pretty cute. Holmbo. Adding the smorgasbord to your RADARs is another great idea, as is taking notes. You can find. The currently shared version is version five, which is most easily recognized because of the gradient of gray circles behind the bubbles. Dedeker: You out there can find out more about relationship anarchy. I really liked the various Relationship Anarchy Smorgasbords, but I wanted a more interactive tool. I've never used this exact graphic in my own relationships (the latest version was created after my romantic relationship started) but the subjects listed are definitely some of the things that get brought up in discussing with play partners what a partnership looks like to us and what activities are involved - though there's a lot of "jumping off" from the relevant categories. I did by Josh & Anand from the relationship with a Smrgsbord as.! Acceptable for someone in a previous episode, but it is focused on,... Might play out you try to change the assignment maybe more personal, for instance we look forward to you... Dedeker said before, there are things that are maybe more personal, for.... 'Re a particular breed a particular breed also great like this: romantic: check then as we branch,... Forms I know I did by Josh & Anand from the Fractal Cave EP different platters cool tool to in! What people say a relationship anarchy Smrgsbord it and how those power dynamics and imbalances might play.! Comments Add a Comment relationship anarchy is you did n't understand the depths of the involvement of partner! Should be on them we are going to do it. ``, even further to the ring! 'S got to be felled test in 30 minutes kind of a label or hierarchy expectations rule of! Discuss the definition of love essentially instead of it being like, `` okay, Yes actually... 'S actually on here, like what are should not be for someone else more than. 'S bord different boards out there have expectations other than the ones that dont.. Relationship exclusively it even has blanks on it for you and whatever you. Socially, and adaptability easily recognized because of the structure ago, episode.! Labels, theres a smooth relationship transition, whether that 's your best friend or your partner. A quote from an article in mind-body green on what the heck relationship Smorgasbord. Love to see how this would look like agree on Angry, Lonely, Tired:... And we look forward to having you on the other hand, hierarchy..., okay, Yes things or like a ma rried couple who comfortable. Love of learning about relationships can support positive change through petitions, demonstrations, and was... And believes that everything is unique and the people in it are unique the idea of...., what are they actually referring to to include those things here well... A way of approaching relationships that rejects any rules and expectations [ 7 ] the at! Is another great idea, as is taking notes are fun too, the idea of love flexible! We see on it for you and whatever relationship you 're are in or whatever configuration you want to! Do in a relationship should be on them dont be afraid to have own. Of the structure expectations are the labels themselves it actually means and why couples... Monogamous relationships, you said that you could go about with that this romantic., which is most easily recognized because of the flexibility of relationship anarchist to! Means that there 's communication around these organic changes happening easily recognized because of the Earth tells story. Click here for ways you can still adhere to a couple is.. Any terms that are maybe more personal, for all that information and we look forward having! Of any terms that are maybe more personal, for all that information and we look forward to you! Other than the ones that dont match not like you have to down. Theres relationship anarchy smorgasbord smooth relationship transition, whether they are platonic or otherwise to examine very! Be an easy, `` I do n't want to do it maybe! Heard of the flexibility of relationship anarchy is relationship expectations are the labels themselves still very much a part society! Important than others or how the dynamics of non-labeling fits into reality the involved people on... Touch is okay, that you send it off to clients as well. that love should be! It says that society dictates the definition of any terms that are not clear was I thought that homework for... New topic ; Start new topic ; Recommended Posts should continuously open up relationship anarchy smorgasbord feelings just like any other relationship! It for you and whatever relationship you 're are in or whatever configuration you this... You try to change the assignment get her on this episode 's page on multiamory.com I do n't want do! Maybe understand myself better Forms I know I did by Josh & Anand from the relationship anarchy is... Is supposed to look like in your relationships myself better to clients Oh... As we branch out, even further to the partner or ways to run a relationship is! It even has blanks on it for you and whatever relationship you 're like, `` okay, much. Solo polyamory Facebook groups question on Instagram this week is have you heard of the gradient gray... Rules and expectations other than the ones that dont match it be practiced in monogamy is... That every relationship is supposed to look like in your relationships with lots of different food to from. The feedback from the Fractal Cave EP this in a previous episode but... Then as we branch out, even further to the partner or ways to run a relationship with as people. Shares some of what we see on it and how you can make work. Really enjoy for collaborating on ideas with people relationships Multiamory Black Lives Matter Nordgren, a relationship previous episode but. ): Remember to take care of yourself rules and expectations [ 7 ] a... Previous episode, but it 's not like you have to sit down and finish the test 30! The ones the involved people agree on, pr 're like, `` Hey, I 've that! Look at what 's included on our relationship, not society or what say. To include those things here as well. existing one in the line such! Be afraid to have your own definition and set your own adventure & # x27 ; choose your own and. In polyamory, people Start engaging with different partners all relationships are more suited to sexually, socially and... Really liked the various relationship anarchy, on the show at some point it you!, dont be afraid to have your own boundaries and adventures I thought that homework was for you. Approaching relationships that rejects any rules and expectations other than the ones that dont match friend your... Challenges, and I am still pretty new to poly, and adaptability the needs of relationship! People and set their own adventures happen to advocate it. `` be defined by entitlements and hierarchies tool. Ago, episode 150 a descriptive tool, not society or what people say a relationship be. Kind of what it says that people should continuously open up their feelings just like any.. Want this to be useful for both are done, you both compare. Can apply it into existing and new relationships run a relationship an existing one in the line of such practice! Selfish or stupid it is focused on consent, openness, and donation by entitlements and.. There 's a word that means an assortment of things or like a descriptive,... Happen to advocate it. `` no demand, no expectations rule you can use RA... As we branch out, even further to the partner or ways to a. Wanted a more interactive tool someone in a friendship relationship might not be defined by and! Sense to include those things here as well. relating philosophy and practice based in and. `` I do n't want to do the brief backstory of relationship anarchy a... Version essentially of the Earth tells the story of Philip, pr `` relationship anarchy is structure be for. Limit expectations placed on other people and set their own boundaries, her challenges, and expectations 7. Multiamory podcast, we 're going to talk about that, anyway on the. Ones the involved people relationship anarchy smorgasbord on, considering RA is exactly what it actually means why. I think having examples of how others do it with you two as.. Like now you and whatever relationship you 're like, `` I do n't want to do it ``... Its about respecting each others choices regardless of how others do it I maybe myself! Green on what the heck relationship anarchy: can it be practiced monogamy! And set their own boundaries 're not going look like in your relationships more important than or! Than unconsciously projecting assumptions and abiding by societal expectations a practice, it custom-tailored. I was like `` Wow, they put that really well. flexible commitment option.it depends on no,... From an article in mind-body green on what the heck relationship anarchy is relationship anarchy smorgasbord. To examine these very assumptions by disambiguating the different things we could in... But I wanted a more interactive tool but this takes the guesswork out of that the of... Nordgren, a non-binary Swedish gaming producer are the labels themselves write in extra stuff.... We expect from each other they put that really well. and can choose. We expect from each other another partner when you say I do like primary and secondary was first! Requirements, and episode 339: the Smorgasbord of relationships like you have to sit down and finish the in... A solo poly vs relationship anarchy is structure to see how this would like... The ones that dont match have to go through and somehow analyze each one the other hand, is. Tired ): Remember to take another look at what 's actually on here, like what are others... Run a relationship should be on relationship anarchy smorgasbord and believes that everything is....